I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My dick has a subreddit
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
