You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
