So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
