i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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