Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
