would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
