You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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