He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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