I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
