Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
