She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
high people should be assigned attendants
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
