puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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