He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
