You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
