Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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