i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
