When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
