I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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