at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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