why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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