Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
