Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I understand Curling. That high.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
