In the future we'll all be gay
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
