I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
