i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
