matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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