shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
