Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
