I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
