He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
