I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
