I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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