drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
