My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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