Buhtt sex?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
