i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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