Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
