I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
