how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
