This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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