Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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