Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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