my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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