My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
did you just send me my own nude
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
