I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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