they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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