I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
