i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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