; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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