so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
